Turns Out There Is Crying in Baseball

Chances are, you’ve probably heard this quote before…

It’s one of the most famous lines in American sports culture delivered by Tom Hanks in the 1992 film A League of Their Own about a women’s baseball team during WWII (based on a true story). ⚾ He scolds a female player for shedding tears. It was meant to be funny. And over time, it became misplaced shorthand for toughness. It promoted the societal myth that real athletes and real men don’t cry.

Just two days ago, Arizona Diamondbacks baseball star Ketel Marte proved otherwise. After a fan cruelly mocked the death of his mother by heckling him from the seats, Marte cried public tears during a game. Fans like that stigmatize mental health and they don’t even realize it, but what happened next mattered even more to crush the stigma.

His teammates didn’t walk away. His manager, Torey Lovullo, didn’t look past it. They didn’t tell him “Boys don’t cry.” His manager leaned in and was present with Marte offering encouragement and support.

“It was a terrible moment,” manager Torey Lovullo told reporters. “Fans are nasty. Fans go too far.”

Lovullo walked out to the mound to change pitchers, but what he did was far more meaningful.

“I just reacted as a dad would,” he said. “I could see he was sobbing. It hurt.”

He wrapped his arm around Marte and told him the one thing most men rarely hear when they’re grieving: “You’re not alone. That guy’s an idiot.” 💖

You can read more about the story here.

This Is What Healthy Masculinity Looks Like.

We see this happen a lot in coaching and mentoring. Unfortunately, we don’t hear enough about the good stories like this one through the mainstream media. We should hear about it more.

Healthy masculinity demonstrated through mentoring and support during a difficult experience reduces the stigma of mental health by encouraging men to express emotion and normalizes them being more comfortable with asking for help.

Side note: My favorite moment of a crying baseball player was when one of my favorite players, Freddie Freeman (former Atlanta Brave turned Los Angeles Dodger) returned to play the Braves in Atlanta for the first time after he signed with L.A. You can see that rare emotional interview here.

When I think of Freddie, I think about the Braves winning it all in 2021 and him catching the final out. Pardon me while I relive the World Series clinching moment for a second! 🏆💍

Thank you! Ok, I’m back.

What the Arizona manager did was offer his presence, protection, and emotional honesty. Not silence. Not shame.

This wasn’t just about crying on a baseball field.

It was about standing up for teammate in pain.

Protecting those we care about is healthy masculinity at its best. 💪🎯

Let’s Be Clear About One Thing: real and healthy masculinity have nothing to do with what the media or certain groups have labeled toxic masculinity. And labeling men as a whole or masculinity as “toxic” doesn’t support men in getting help.

The label toxic masculinity does a lot more damage than good, and I’m tired of hearing about it.

Many of my clients are tired of hearing about it, too. Many men are doing the best they can just like most people. Stigmatizing nearly half of the world’s population is unhelpful and discourages men from accessing care and support.

Real masculinity isn’t cold or disconnected. What’s toxic is the idea that men should hide pain at all costs, never ask for help, or define strength by how little they feel.

What Lovullo modeled wasn’t weakness. It was strength in service of someone else.

This Is What Good Men Do. 🙌

✅ They protect.

Lovullo didn’t just manage a game. He protected Marte. (That fan was removed from the game and later banned from future games at the stadium)

✅ They stand with pain.

Marte’s tears weren’t ignored or dismissed. They were honored.

✅ They show up with presence, not pretense.

No posturing. Just “I’m here. You matter.”

What If More People Thought of Masculinity Like This?

More boys might grow up knowing they can cry AND be strong by protecting and supporting their people.

More men might realize that vulnerability and leadership go hand in hand.

And fewer people would suffer alone in silence.

What is your one thing to do?

- Text, call, or write a note right now to THANK a man in your life that modeled healthy masculinity for you. This is the man who is exemplary in being someone who listens, protects, and supports his people with presence and care. Chances are, one is coming to your mind. Stop what you’re doing and show him gratitude right now.

Closing Thought

Protecting someone you care about is masculinity at its best. Not toxic. Not a shallow performance. Just real and authentic leadership. Just like Coach Lovullo did with Marte.

This week, that truth came alive on a baseball field.

There is crying in baseball. 😎⚾

And there’s strength in the kind of man who sees pain…and steps toward it.

These are the men who are in a league of their own.

Until next Friday morning, come back…be here.

Keith